Invincible

I

Blow

Wide eyed my five year old mind cowered

Ten feet flames engulfed the metal frame 

Ten minutes and no rescue had arrived

Tiny hands held safe, huge eyes held fixated

No sound, no screams, my ears were ringing

No escape, carnage blocked the way home

Twisted black shell that could have been a coffin

But I was too young to know

II

Back

05/12/2008 04:20

I dunno what to put my phone light hurts my eyes x x x love you

Trace a line of what we mean 

By our silence

Long held, rush and falter

Don't hold it in any longer

You've used my hand

To wipe away unwanted tears

Butterfly kisses and bruises

That fade

Skin and bone

Drag letters of love

Between your shoulders

And feel you shudder

Fast breaths and eye contact

We are still alive

Teeth in lip and arched back

Collapse

I WILL:

Much to the satisfaction of my ego, every goal except one set for 2008 was achieved. The future looks bright in 2009 although another bout of motivation is required to get us from this side to the next.

So, in the good spirit of an alcoholic, in 2009:

I WILL rent my own house

I WILL get a tattoo

I WILL make an effort!

Chins up, glasses raised - to a year of friendship, productivity and growing up. Chink, drink, down it. May the mayhem and mischief continue. Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. INNIT.

2009 (99)

Happy New Year if you are still alive and/or sober enough to be reading this. Can't remember New Year's Eve, let alone the countdown or anything from around then. It's bits and pieces. A bit like everything at the moment, sometimes I'm in my head and sometimes I'm everywhere but. Can't escape for long though, it's more like a prison every day. Who the fuck came up with skulls anyway? I wonder how hard they are to crack.

Passed out on New Year's, haven't really recovered yet. Feel like a zombie, not just because there's still alcohol rushing around my blood stream, but because of the severe lack of sleep. It's not been fun. The goal was to get wankered, to forgive and forget, which was only marginally achieved and now things seem to be heading to worse rather than better. Things just haven't seemed to work out the way they were meant to this time.

If I could fight myself I would, because really that's the only person I have to blame for how I'm feeling. One stupid, naive moment of rushing hormones and this is how it ends, waiting for something to happen. It's not, really, very, fun.

To cheer up, it's been a glad relief to work on 'Dance For Me' and hit the pre-production up a notch. The scene is set, all we need now is a few months of hard work and complete dedication and maybe it will all go well for once and my mind will be diverted to a more productive cause than sitting around feeling sorry for myself and not being able to close my eyes without that illustrious mind's eye of mine taking over and replaying scenes I would rather erase forever.

New Year's resolutions will be up shortly,
to make sure I stick to them.

Happy New Year.