One day when I think back to days as they are now, I like to think that the good bits will be appreciated and over exaggerated. Not torn and held under the waters of distant memory, until the struggling stops. Seems as though a point is reached where being young once doesn't matter any more and all that matters is being in control. Hate to break it to you, but there's a lot that goes on you have no idea about and there is no intention to involve you or the interference of others like you. Don't degrade yourself pretending to have false intentions and motivations up your sleeve.
60% of today was spent in the company of Jimmy. The other 40% was shit as hell and I don't care to recall any of it, other than to say that bothering with college has been one of the single most stupid mistakes of my reasonably short life.
Positive Progress:
Aside from how up and down, all over the place, inside out and back to front my head has been today, I've been channeling some brain power into my new short film. I'm pretty settled on my original premise of 'Hangers', a dark comedy about dead people. However, more ideas have been floating around. More like components; I think Jimmy's agreed to compose a score for at least one of my shorts. One of the reasons I have decided to keep my new MySpace account is so that I can keep potential contributors added, selfish yes, but user generated sites are founded on self-promotion and assuming someone out there gives enough of a shit to read the garbage on your profile, so I don't consider this an obstacle.
Filming wise, a new camera is on the agenda although a) my car is eating up my bank account and b) if I make it to Carlisle this September I will have top of the range gear at my disposal sans payment. Two choices: wait and make it this Autumn/Winter or skim over how old/rusty/bad quality my camcorder and get on and shoot some action. Once it's written I'm inclined to get it over and done with so the first term at University is freed up to consume copious amounts of alcohol and familiarise myself with some new faces.
I'll keep posting.
On a more serious note; my extended project is due by the end of this month. You could write in the amount of dust it's gathered in the last little while. My favourite pastime is avoiding doing anything constructive, this time around I might live to regret it. I haven't even finished 'Try' yet, which is annoying me profusely. I should be scanning that rather than clicking out this, then again my eyes are dying so either way it's time to close them for a bit. After all I still have to find time to pep talk myself into plucking up the courage to make a move this weekend. A victim of the hypodermic needle generation my fix needs to be fresh and instantaneous.
The track's almost over.
To wallow in 5 seconds of self pity, a hug would be the greatest thing in the world right now.
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